“Who me?”

“Yeah you.”

“What kind of a stupid question is that?”

“The kind that needs to be answered.”

“Answered by me you mean?”

“Yeah you.”

“But isn’t that question rather presumptuous?  I mean, you are assuming that I, or anyone else for that matter, already has ‘suffering’ in their life.  Right?”

~*~*~*~*~

Okay.  I concede.  I suppose that is a valid presumption.  At least for me it is; and I’m willing to bet it is for just about any being who calls themselves a human.

Perhaps in order to figure out how I choose to suffer, I should begin by determining how I have chosen to suffer.  When I look back on the first 57 years of my life, I have to admit I have suffered in many different ways.  Sure, life has been good.  But life has not been ALL good.  No, definitely not.

Here are some of the ways I’ve suffered over my lifetime*:

By not letting go of this thought-memory:  Premature birth weight and a birth experience that put my mother’s life at risk and caused the doctors to ask my father to make the decision of which life to save if it came down to them making that decision.  He chose mine over hers (Don’t worry she’s a very healthy eighty-two year old).

Through the physical and emotional pain of Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis when I was still in grade school.  Leaving me with still-tender knee and hip joints.

Through the painful shyness and lack of self-worth that began at a young age and, although successfully fought head-on, festered over the course my life.

Despite the liberation of thought, through the shame of abandoning my family’s religion when I was seventeen years old.

By contracting the auto-immune disease Polymyositis when I was twenty years old.  Causing not only the pain of the disease, but also the effects of long-term mega doses of the steroid prednisone.

Through a lifelong feeling of separation, lonesomeness, and not-fitting-in with the world.

Some level of depression caused by guilt and shame and low confidence levels over most of the past fifteen to twenty years.

A thirty-five year addiction to alcohol, which almost killed me when I was in my 55^th year.

~*~*~*~*~

Now whether I can say that I chose to suffer in these ways…..well I know my ego would jump in and reply, “Ha!  NFW.  No F-ing Way!”  Yet if I truly examine my life, I may not have consciously chosen to suffer in these ways, or to suffer at all, but suffer I did.  And if I believe that I am a Being created with the capacity for free will (which I do), then I will admit that I DID choose what I have experienced.  Maybe not exactly as experienced, but I have chosen the course, or the path, the direction of my experience.

However consciously or subconsciously.

Some will not agree with that conclusion, but that is of no consequence to me.  I know it to be so.

So then, what does this say about how I will choose my suffering now?  And furthermore, why should I continue to choose to suffer at all?  Now, or in the future.

I believe I MUST suffer.  I cannot experience the joy of NOT suffering unless I do.  I cannot understand the sweetness in life, the satisfaction, the happiness, the ecstasy in life without understanding what those things are not.  Let me put it this way:  Say I want to have an experience, let’s say one where I jump up and grab a tree limb, pull myself up to where I’m sitting on it and then hang by my legs upside down in the air swinging back and forth.

In order for that experience and its related feelings to be real, to be authentic, for ME – at some point in my life I have to experience the ability to not be able to do that.  I must feel the pain in my shoulder as I try to simply lift my right elbow out sideways to the same height as the shoulder.  I must know the discouragement and despair of that physical pain remembering the thousands of hours of exercise and training.  I must feel completely pissed off at myself, and God, and life.  I must know what some might call ‘feeling like crap.’

Then I can close my eyes and breathe the sweet breeze that blows through my hair and arms as they dangle beneath me from that tree limb and know the meaning of bliss and truth.  I can choose.  I can choose that!

The funny thing is, it doesn’t even matter if one of those experiences precedes the other.  Time is of no matter when it comes to the authentication of knowing.  The experience of one is validated by the experience of the other, whether I am consciously aware of it at the time or not.

Ahhhhh.  Pain and suffering.  Bring it on.  As it’s been said, “It’s all good.”

~*~*~*~*~

So now, how do I choose to suffer?

I choose to suffer willingly.  I accept it and I accept that it is going to happen. I own it, knowing that ‘it’ is only but one half of authentic experience.

I choose to suffer as a human being.  I’m not going to say I choose to suffer without out complaint.  I don’t have that much control over my ego yet.  I’m just human.

I choose to suffer with a sense of adventure.  Every episode of suffering in my life has placed me in unexpected territory.  And as I trudged on through, however slowly, the scenery of that territory has always changed.

I choose to suffer so I can write my life story.  The suffering is simply an inkwell.

I choose to suffer together.  With you.  We’ll share the suffering, and we’ll share the NOT suffering.  We’ll have the authentic experience of being a human being for a while.

How do you choose to suffer?

Take care and seek peace my friends,

Vince

* By no means is this a ‘brag list’ or shared as if to imply that the pain and suffering of others is not as ‘bad’ as mine.  I’m not ignorant enough to believe, or even think, that!  I am a very fortunate individual and I am quite aware of it.  My level of suffering could be considered a blessing by many people who have experienced this world of ours:  Now, in the past or in the future.  I am simply recounting my own experiences.

__________________________________________

Unless otherwise indicated, all images are copyright vincegreen111058.

Today the voices I’m hearing are my own.  Coming to me via the writing of Andy Weir.  You may have heard of him, he wrote the book The Martian, which was recently turned into a film starring Matt Damon.  I haven’t read the book but I’ve seen the movie, I’d recommend it; but that’s not what I’d like to share with you today.

I‘d like to share a short story of his that I found to be quite enlightening and mind expanding.  Perhaps you will as well.

THE EGG*

By Andy Weir

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”

“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnations of you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Pause……

So there.  There is no one else but YOU, and God.  Happily creating All That Is so that you may develop, grow and evolve enough…just so that you can finally be born.  Wow!

Can you believe it?  Is it possible?  If so, what does it mean?

Look away from your screen right now.  Who do you see?  Your Mom?  Your husband?  Your child?  Your friend?  Some stranger?

Nope.

You are seeing a reflection of YOU.  Just you.  There is nobody else in the room.

Keep that in mind the next time you speak or act.

It will change the way you think.

It will change the way you think about the way you think.

It will change you.

Take care and seek peace my friends,

Vince

* http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html

There are several videos that have been made based on this story.  You can find them on YouTube.  What I found was that they can blur the vision you created in your mind when you read the story as it was originally conceived. 

Please share this story by sharing this post.  I believe that the most impactful way someone can experience this idea is through reading the written words.

However, if you must, I recommend this adaptation directed, edited, and produced by Harrison J. Bahe and posted by NavajoJoeFilms.  It sticks pretty true to the original story you just read.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1v8si6fb4Qw

Unless otherwise indicated, all images are copyright vincegreen111058.

I love looking at this picture of our planet with its satellite in orbit.  I try to imagine how awestruck visitors are upon their first approach to the third planet from this star.  How can such a beautiful place exist?   How amazing the creative force of all that is in this universe?

And then I imagine what it must be like to enter the atmosphere and see firsthand the unimaginable beauty unfolding beneath me as I fly over the surface.

And then to take that first step upon the planet’s surface; to feel the intense physical dimensionality of the wide array of surface textures, and colors, and smells and sounds.  To behold the seemingly infinite variety of life…..

If I close my eyes I can feel that emotion of discovery, the rush of energy flow through me.  I can imagine how empowered I felt seeing the image of the planet and its moon upon arrival; and then how small I feel as I now stand upon the surface.  I feel an intense rush of gratitude.  Yes, that is what overwhelms me as I explore the experience of this new world.  Gratitude.

That is the Big Me.

But then the siren screams past the window and the clock ticks on the wall and the itch demands scratching under my nose and I am drawn back into the smaller me.  The me that so quickly forgets the Big Me in but a split second.  Along with my re-entry into small me come my worries and trials and tribulations; my sense of heaviness and burden; my “reality.”

From up to down my emotions heave, but I have hope.  For at any time I can simply look at this photograph and remember what is really important about this place I call home.  I can understand that I am but an actor on this director-less stage, creating small me with each breath in each scene.

Every time I bring this image of my planet into my mind, into my awareness, I am changing my small me role.  I am enlarging my small me role.  Soon I will be playing Big Me during every scene on this stage.

As will each one of us.

And when we do, all the bombs and guns and threats and greed and hate and fear will simply cease to exist for us.

That is what is waiting for us on the far side of our moon.

The other perspective.

The Miracle.

Take care and seek peace my friends,

Vince

Unless otherwise indicated, all images are copyright vincegreen111058.

I am taking a mooc from www.iversity.org entitled Digital Arts. In the first lesson, we were given a question to answer.  What is life?  Here are my thoughts on that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What if Art is really just Life, in and of itself?

What if art then masks itself to appear as if it is just a part, or an element, of life?

Why would it do this?  Well, without the mask, most human minds would more than likely collapse under the stress of actually knowing what is real.  Thinking one knows what is real is easier to live with than actually knowing what is real.

Don’t you think?

Or don’t you know?

So as a masked reality, art explains itself and in the process, explains life.

What really makes this interesting (and challenging) is that each individual creates art.  They do this whether they think they do or not; or whether they call it art or not.  And…..

…each individual’s art reflects their own truth about life.

So there are currently, and have been, and will continue to be, infinite truths about art – and of life itself…

…and they are all true.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So I answered the question this way.

“Art is life; pretending not to be life; while going about the process of understanding and explaining life.”

I just thought it might need some clarification.  ~wink~

Skate around

the lemni scate.

In creases

go deeper in.

Limitless on a

plane of no limit.

Iced in finite

I see.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Take care and seek peace,

Vince

Unless otherwise indicated, all images are copyright vincegreen111058.

I am drawn to the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi:  Where beauty is found in the imperfect nature of a thing*. I find it to be a truth that applies to all things.

~*~*~*~

I am also attracted to the imagery of stained glass. I love stained glass – even in the daylight. The initial beauty of a whole piece of stained glass art draws me in:  The design, the composition, the multi-colored mosaic, the texture of the lead and the glass together…

But then, upon closer inspection, I see the complexity of the creation itself. The way in which each individual piece of glass is unique. The way in which these smaller shapes and colors must combine in order to define the larger image. And then the way in which these small individual components are actually held together as one by the web of lead that binds them.

Stand close and you have an abstraction. Stand back and the image is revealed.

~*~*~*~

There is another, second, layer of understanding to a work of stained glass art.

The art form reminds me of the interconnectedness to all of life. To me, each small piece of glass is like each small piece of our planet’s energy. The life energy that includes you and me, him and her, plant life, animals and fish and insects, as well as all the so-called ‘its’ on our planet. ‘Its’ like the dirt and stones, the air and water, the electrical currents, the planet itself and the space around the planet.

In the same way the individual pieces of glass are connected by the web of lead that binds them together, we are all connected by a web of energy. The piece of glass in the upper left-hand corner is connected to the piece of glass in the lower right-hand corner; and without either one of them (or any of the others in between) the picture is incomplete and not whole.

So what then do you call that ‘web of lead’ which binds us all together?

 ~*~*~*~

“People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.” 
~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

And so another, third, layer of understanding is revealed. There is that which binds the glass pieces together, and there is that which illuminates the whole. One connects, one expresses. Different and yet the same.

~*~*~*~

The beauty and perfection of the stained-glass piece of art comes from the very collection of broken and stained pieces from which it is made. Wabi-sabi.

Take care and seek peace my friends,

Vince

Unless otherwise indicated, all images are copyright vincegreen111058.

 * The concept of wabi-sabi goes much deeper than this; much deeper than I want to get into now. For the time being, if you would like to learn more visit these sites or snoop around on your own:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wabi-sabi

http://www.utne.com/mind-and-body/wabi-sabi.aspx

http://nobleharbor.com/tea/chado/WhatIsWabi-Sabi.htm

Sometimes there are flashes of energy that zap into your mind out of nowhere and speed through your body down into the hands. This is one such moment…..

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Understanding the forces of nature helps to understand the flow of your everyday life.  For every action there is a reaction. For every up there is a down.  For every light there is a dark.  For every move to the left there is a move to the right.

Everything in the universe is in balance.  There is no right or wrong.  There just Is.  There just Is.  So when a mountain is formed, so is a valley.  When there is a cloudy day on one spot of the planet, there is a sunny day on another.

The key is to understand and accept that for every move there is a complimentary move in another direction.  And although one move may seem to be a “good” move, say – a movement upward, there will be a corollary movement sideways, or even downward, which may seem “bad” to you.

This is not to be seen as a “bad” thing that has happened.  It simply is the reaction to another movement of energy.  It is energy reacting to energy.  To Itself.  It is neither good nor bad.  However, all movement is progress.  It is the movement itself that is what can be called “good.”

When the wind blows, she does not pick her direction.  She simply moves; sometimes fast, sometimes slow.  The same can be said for water, for fire and electricity, and for your planet herself.

Birth and death are movement too.  So is the act of saving a life or ending one. (And do not limit your definition of ending a life to refer to just a human one)  It is all just energy in motion.  It is all good.

If you learn anything in your life, learn this.

Understand this deeply.  Drink it into your mind.  Let it soak in.  Accept it.  Use it.  The knowledge of this one thing will eliminate almost all of human suffering.  It is the key to happiness.  It is what will enable you to move forward and progress physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Make the object of the energy, the movement, LOVE.  Make the reason for the movement LOVE.  Make the goal of the movement LOVE.  Your lives will become much easier to handle and work with on a daily basis.  Your mind will become free and at peace when this secret is held in your hand and shared with all others.

Be free.  Be at peace with yourself.  Be in LOVE with yourself.  You will never understand how you could ever have thought any differently.  But don’t wait, like some choose to do, until the moment of your death to come to this realization.  Accept it now.  Everyone does, some just sooner than later.

But regardless of what you choose to experience, it’s okay.  It’s all okay.

Take care and seek peace my friends,

Vince

*~*~*~*~*

Unless otherwise indicated, all words and images copyright vincegreen111058. www.artbyvincegreen.com.

When it comes to food, I am a really too simple-minded. I think that is a good thing. Yet it can be boring. Which of course is why I like boring food to begin with:  It is simple.

I don’t particularly like eating at restaurants. They always seem overpriced to me. Maybe a better way to put is I that usually never see the value in it. The value for me, that is.

I was a vegetarian for about ten years. It was a difficult journey in a land of omnivores. My wife at the time, Stacey, was very supportive when I changed over – not because she joined me, or heard the same voices I heard – rather she adapted her, and our family’s, lifestyle around mine. I really appreciated that, nonetheless it was still difficult navigating a course through menu’s that always seemed to include meat.

My mom always asked me the same thing:  “You can still eat fish right?”

Sigh.

With a young family, fast food joints were always easy for us on the watch, the wallet and the mind. We used to do Wendy’s a lot because I could eat baked potatoes and Frosty’s; or Burger King because they used to have a veggie burger on the menu. Maybe they still do?  And fries don’t have meat in them – see where the difficulties arise?

I started eating meat again when I needed to lose a bunch of weight (the result of vegetarian bread and beer). I went on a very strict diet and exercise program that I felt needed to include protein from meat. I’ve been eating meat ever since, never very much, and rarely beef, but I am very close to being a total vegetarian again – and on the path toward vegan.

I’ve also been single again for almost 9 years now and cooking for yourself creates a whole other set of challenges that most of you are either familiar with or can figure out for yourself.

So my food-eating principles are pretty clear-cut. I eat as clean as possible:  Little or no processed foods. I like to jumble up all the nutrients my body needs into one dish or serving. I like to keep things simple.

So this means I usually prepare my meals en masse and then store them in single-serving containers to eat later. So it was this morning. I thought I’d share this very simple vincemeal with you.

Ingredients

– Two hands full of white potatoes, boiled then mushed up.

– A can of kidney beans, low sodium and rinsed anyway.

– Two carrots roasted.

– Turmeric, black pepper, red pepper seeds/flakes, ginger.

That’s it. Mixed together and as you can see, partitioned out into one serving for breakfast and four for later over the next few days. I was going to add some more protein by frying up some tempeh, but eh, I’ll use that for something else later.

Simple is as simple does.

Boring but that’s how I like it. A few dollars and I’ve got 5 meals. To me, this is more satisfying than anything I can get in a restaurant.

How do you like it?

Take care and seek peace my friends,

Vince

Change ALWAYS means the loss of one thing and the gain of another.

The ease or dis-ease of the Change is the result of how much control we have, or perceive we have, over the actual event. On one hand, if you are consciously creating Change in your life, then its occurrence will be expected.  On the other hand, if Change occurs suddenly and is unplanned, then we become surprised or shocked when it happens.

Regardless of whether we consciously plan Change or if it occurs spontaneously, the surprise that most experience with Change is directly related to the time element involved. In many instances, even when we meticulously plan out change in our life, we become surprised at WHEN it arrives. Sometimes it takes too long for our liking. Sometimes it occurs immediately, or sooner than we expected.

In addition to these elements of time and control, loss of any type involves the individual journey through grief. Some journeys are short, like when one loses their favorite pen or the front door key. Other journeys are long, such as when our home burns to the ground or a beloved pet dies.

Yet, always at the end of the grief is redemption. We always gain something from Change; even if we are unaware of the nature of the gain. The loss of your front door key meant you had to get another one; and in the process you managed to smile at the clerk in the store and compliment her on her hairstyle and color. You feel better for it, and she gained the confidence and energy to make it through the rest of her shift.

The inherent turmoil of Change has no panacea. Yet, it occurs as naturally as the growth of your hair and fingernails. For yes, that too is Change! The impact Change has on our well-being is a direct relation to how we perceive the event. When the nail on your left big toe changes by growing a millimeter you are not in the least bit affected. When the nail on your right big toe grows into the skin and begins to inflame, you react differently. Loss and gain occur at the cellular level when that left big toenail is growing. Loss and gain occur at a more visceral level when the ingrown toenail on your right foot begins to swell and throb.

Other than powers of magnitude, how is your reaction to the changes in your toenails any different than your reaction to say, the loss of someone from your life?

The process and elements of the Change are the same. How you react can be the same too. What you feel will be different, most definitely. Learn the difference between how you react and how you feel. How? There is only one way – through self-examination.

When Change arrives and your reactions and feelings are confusing you, ask yourself these questions:

• Am I in control of what is occurring or not?
• How am I surprised at this?
• Do I know and understand the grieving process?
• What exactly have I lost so far, and what do I still stand to lose?
• What exactly have I gained so far and what do I still stand to gain?

Change ALWAYS means the loss of one thing and the gain of another. Many times we have no idea of what we stand to lose or gain from a Change event. However, the elements of Change and the process of Change are static. It is only the form that is different.

Change has a very big role in divine creation. It is the spark that moves life forward. Change is progress. Always. Whether you agree or not. Whether you notice or not.

Take care, seek peace and keep listening to the voices.

Vince

Image credit:  http://artbyvincegreen.com/featured/beauty-in-decay-study-2-vince-green.html